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Tag Archives: Religion & Spirituality

It feels like many events are coming together. We’re beginning to talk about the future rather Jewishly. We’ve made contact with some people who are helping us. Those who are shunning us seem to be quieting down and moving on. And surprisingly we’re hearing about a number of individuals and couples who have been involved with Messianic Judaism who are beginning to question Jesus’ validity as the messiah. We have spoken to some who have left that religion and are in the process of conversion. Others are researching and struggling. But for us, the high emotional drama of rejecting Jesus/Yeshua and Messianic Judaism (which is an insidious form of Christianity and just as idolatrous) seems to be channeling into intellectual energy, personal growth, and unity.

I was listening to Rabbi Dr. Dovid Gottlieb speak on the topic of “How to Live With Questions You Can’t Answer” and he mentioned the phenomenon of swarming behavior in locusts. Apparently when the density of locusts reaches a certain value, the locusts, who prefer to live independently, begin to act as a swarm. Scientists say this behavior gets switched on by increased stimulation of the hind legs from being jostled by other locusts and through prolonged exposure (via sight and smell) to other locusts. But what gets activated? The neurotransmitter serotonin. In humans, low serotonin can lead to depression. Maybe one could suggest a correlation between living in isolation and depression. Research certainly bears that out. But does swarming just make locusts feel “happy?”

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my first shabbat as a heretic

lonely

Today I sat in the midst of the little home chavurah I attend with my little “secret” boiling inside of me. At this point, only my wife knew of my realization that Jesus is not the messiah and we haven’t decided how to tell the group or how we will leave it. After much internal debate, I decided that I had to tell my best friend before we announced all of this to everyone else. I’ve known him for almost sixteen years. Our friendship did not begin based on religious ideals and I hope that it won’t end because of them. We’ll see. My stomach turned waiting for the time to pass and I felt more alone than ever.

Expulsion of the Jews from Frankfurt on August...

Jews expelled from Frankfurt, 1614

the news

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I hope this blog will be a conversation with anyone interested as much as it is about me sharing my story. I’m finding myself now at a juncture (and here is where you come in) where I’m finally being honest with myself and those closest to me–and you are watching it all unfold.So now I’m going to write it for the first time: I don’t believe that Jesus (or Yeshua as some call him) is the Messiah.

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