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We’ve been going out-of-town every weekend to visit with our sponsoring Rabbi and to attend at least one of his classes. This past Shabbat we were able to spend Erev Shabbat with him and his family and attend services on Shabbat at his shul; Shacharit through Havdalah. My wife has started attending Hebrew classes (she’s pretty advanced already) taught by the Rabbanit and we both are attending the shiur for the weekly parshah. We feel at home there and we have met very warm and supportive people.

The more we visit that community the less I feel attached to my former life. It is hard to return to Austin and step back into what seems to be someone else’s existence. So I try to stay busy with all the preparations–I’m applying for jobs and we’re exploring our options for living arrangements. I’m studying the books on the required reading list for the Rabbinical Council of America (those which I haven’t already read yet) and attending classes during the week at an Orthodox shul here in Austin.

All of this is not to say that when we’re there it is not also difficult. The circumstance presents challenges of its own. The community is mainly a Hebrew speaking, Israeli-based community so the members are naturally a little guarded around us right now. Our son is having to adjust to the constant travel and changes in the environment in addition to his awareness that soon he’ll be having a baby sister, b’ezrat Hashem. Which of course means my wife has to deal with all the natural feelings of making a big change with pregnancy hormones to top it off! I think converting, which is really a short word for such an enormous experience, is the hardest thing I have ever done in my entire life and I’m really trying hard to avoid hyperbole here. On the other hand, it feels like the right thing to do. My soul yearns each week to return to the community, to see the friends I’ve met and to talk with my Rabbi. He and his family are amazing and feel like the perfect fit for us. I hope we are accepted and that we can relocate soon.

The shul we hope to join

“…Messianics are left with nothing but their own self-assertions for the authenticity of their religious identity. While Christians hope for the realization of Jesus as the messiah on the part of the Jewish world so that Jews will become Christians, Messianics hope for the realization of Jesus as an Orthodox Jew by religious Jews so that they themselves will be accepted in the Jewish world.” An excerpt from Yehudah Illan’s blog http://chizzukemunah.com. Click below for more!

Kosher Jesus, Treif Christianity.

via Kosher Jesus, Treif Christianity.

A friend (also a convert to Judaism) recently counseled me to start a blog so there would be information out on the web that represents a change in my beliefs. He’s a wise guy. I really mean that. He must have also known that writing about this process would also help clarify my thoughts and boost my chutzpah to talk about this. As he said, converting to Judaism is not like switching churches or synagogues. I’m becoming a new person. But I’m also becoming an apostate. A full-fledged heretic. Friends and family will surely look at me with that you’re-going-to-Hell look in their eyes. But I’m sure they mean well.

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