בית השתייכות The House of Belonging

Some of my readers know that my wife is pregnant (in our second trimester now) and I can relate to this child in a different way than the first time we were pregnant. I, much like that child, am a fetus in a gerut kind of way. I’ve left my old religion, Messianic Judaism a.k.a. Christianity, and am now transforming into becoming a Torah Jew be’ezrat Hashem.

Fetus at 18 weeks after fertilization 3D Pregn...

I am not fully formed but I can begin to move; my features resemble Torah Judaism now more than ever (having rejected Jesus/Yeshua as messiah), but like our fetus my eyes are functional (can see light) but the lids are still sealed; I hear sounds with my ears but I am only now building an intelligible database which allows me to recognize what I’m hearing; I am connected, albeit it very delicately, to a greater body but I cannot touch or be touched by others as I am also insulated and isolated by very organic barriers; I am alive but fragile and the future is uncertain in so far as Hashem has designed a perfect system for me to grow in but so much can go wrong, chas v’shalom.

Today I’m aware of longing. Poet David Whyte pens:

THE HOUSE OF BELONGING

I awoke
this morning
in the gold light
turning this way
and that

thinking for
a moment
it was one
day
like any other.

But
the veil had gone
from my
darkened heart
and
I thought

it must have been the quiet
candlelight
that filled my room,

it must have been
the first
easy rhythm
with which I breathed
myself to sleep,

it must have been
the prayer I said
speaking to the otherness
of the night.

And
I thought
this is the good day
you could
meet your love,

this is the black day
someone close
to you could die.

This is the day
you realize
how easily the thread
is broken
between this world
and the next

and I found myself
sitting up
in the quiet pathway
of light,

the tawny
close grained cedar
burning round
me like fire
and all the angels of this housely
heaven ascending
through the first
roof of light
the sun has made.

This is the bright home
in which I live,
this is where
I ask
my friends
to come,
this is where I want
to love all the things
it has taken me so long
to learn to love.

This is the temple
of my adult aloneness
and I belong
to that aloneness
as I belong to my life.

There is no house
like the house of belonging.

3 comments
  1. Beautiful metaphor. Especially the part about being connected, but not being able to touch or be touched. Powerful and insightful.

    Take good care,

    Yehudah

  2. Israel said:

    Congrats on the new baby! Mazel Tov!

    • Our baby has not come yet. G-d willing, she will arrive be’sha’ah tovah.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: