Dies Illa

Today it seemed like my wife and I traded positions, one being angry while the other assumed a more patient, long-suffering temperament. The day started with me dodging verbal arrows and offering comforting words while she discussed how she was feeling. “You’ve changed all the rules,” “Our foundation has been shattered,” and so on. I tried to explain how our faith has been based in Torah principles all along and that letting go of Jesus is not going to send us all to Hell. “Don’t you worry that your choices will cause you to lose your salvation?” It was an honest question and my sincere answer was, “No. I do not believe G-d works that way. Nowhere in the Torah does it say that we have to identify a man, ‘believe’ in him and then have salvation.”

A kettle full of Jews (with white hats) burnin...

A kettle full of Jews burning in Hell

By the end of the day I had a headache and felt furious. I don’t know why but I had zero patience. Thankfully my wife pulled it together and let me vent for a while. After I had found about five different topics to rant about she said, “Wow. I sure am glad you’re still happy you married me.” Bingo! That was the brightest part of the day. She was right on.

After some time for reflection, I think I’m frustrated and pouting that she didn’t wake up today saying, “I’m ready to drop Jesus, let’s go and convert!” I really try to not be an idiot but sometimes I miss the mark.

1 comment
  1. Site Admin said:

    Shalom, Jeisyn.

    I want to encourage you that you are on the right path and that the difficult process you are going through now is very normal. If you maintain your patience and stability in the relationship, then the waves will eventually calm enough to speak logically. For wives, the hard part is changing and entering a new world of thought and relationship to religion. But once they come to place where they know that the undeniable facts are what they are, then they are willing to go forward – not as change, but as action of doing what is right. It is never done easily, however, unless she is the first in the relationship to reach conclusions, but this is not your situation. In short: It will pass. Be encouraged.

    It is very healthy to journal throughout your process. Processing emotions, clarifying thoughts and ideas, being able to see where you’ve come from, this form of expression is very valuable.

    Remember to stress what is in the Tanakh and what is not, what Chazal taught versus what Christians teach, and most of all to highlight the irrational implications about God if one believes in the “angry God” ideas common in Christian/Messianic circles. Highlight ways that this change will make life, relationships, and other areas better. Stress happiness. Do it with gentleness and humility. From what I have read so far, I think you will overcome this very real and difficult obstacle.

    Shavua Tov.

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